Silence after the storm

I have faced many storms in life but last few weeks were the worst. It is not the impact of a happening but the constant weathering that happens throughout life. Like the river that carves a canyon. 

When I went to Guruvayur and Thrissur I had planned to not to dwell on references or connections from the past. However as destiny has it. I went down a vortex. 

Solo travel is very challenging for me on the psychological front. My deepest emotions 🖤 surface. All the possibilities that could have been, haunt me. This has happened in Ooty and Coimbatore too in the previous years. This did not happen in Odisha even when I was solo there.

It feels like Quantum physics comes to the forefront. I am sensitive and aware of the energy and its effects. How can I explain this ? I am not in control of the thoughts. Why should these thoughts find a home in me? 

I don’t have answers. 

Recent one was bad and I even had DARK thoughts. 

Appeal to Readers 

Online interactions have no TONE. No one can understand what goes on in the suffering MIND. Don’t be a TRIGGER. 

You might come from a space of concern and care but you are not a professional to help in the matters of the mind. Not even friends if they are not sitting next to the suffering.

I was clinging to the thoughts because the reaction is to protect the thoughts. I used every possible energy to resist. I felt my deepest emotions were attacked.

It took me 10 days to cut the chain of thoughts. Slowly I eased out of that ABYSS. 

What helped is physical presence of friends. I called a young couple who are friends for a sleepover. Spent a lovely time talking into the night. Sharing a simple dinner followed by dessert. A breakfast we cooked together and enjoyed on my balcony. Taking in the views and weather. A relaxed time. They came back again to check on me the next day too. They noted that there was a change. I was FRESH and HAPPIER. 

I reflect now…

After the storm that washed you away, there is silence. The clarity bares the bones. 

You see what the storm did to you.

You rebuild.

Resilience.

Shree Gondavalekar Maharaj saw me through this too.

श्री राम 🙏🏽🌹

Perfect Blessing

Today's Reflection

The UNIVERSE knows what you need at the perfect time.

Never feel sad about what you did not receive.

May be you don't need it.

May be the time is not right.

The divine blessings are preserved for when you need it the most !

श्री राम 🌹🙏🏽

56th Birthday

I am 56yrs today. 

A time to reflect. Lived my life. Don’t want to go back to that time. Not to the darkness but towards light. 

Not having LOVE in my life is making me use that tenderness I feel to be applied to BHAKTI. 

If I can LOVE a human so deeply THEN that teaches me how deep I can go in SPIRITUALITY. 

भिर्रररर

Last night, I attended this wonderful play called भिर्ररर. It touched a chord in me. 

The story opens with introduction of the main character and her mind. The main character played by Janhvi and her mind given a human form played by Mayuri. The story has roots in a village called Abdul Laat, which survived historical invasion by building the facade of a masjid in front of a temple. 

This survival is the foundation on which भिर्ररर is built, through narrative, ओवी Ovis, movement. It is very sensitively told by Janhvi and Mayuri. Both actresses are dancers which brings fluidity, into not just the movements, but expression and what they build on stage for you to experience. It takes through the life of the woman. Her first broken dream of education, marriage, childbirth, aspirations and hope. Hope that persists.

It touches upon farmer death, the incapacity of a man to survive. While the woman stands up, faces the world, the changing gaze of society, patriarchy and still stands in the mud and blooms like a flower. Not just alone, but she builds a garden. Empowering women, other women, the way she knows. Adapting to the new world ! 

Many questions are asked and left for you to learn what is literacy and what is education ? To live life in a FLOW that is NATURAL. 

It ends on a very tender note where she rest just a bit to dream.

Go watch it ! 

My darling Janhvi Marathe who pours her heart and soul into a character. Sings beautifully and shines in folk which is her forte`. Love her timbre built on classical training and inherited musical genes.

Mayuri compliments equally well. Lithe performer. Carries herself well through the play. The story is her credit. 

The name भिर्ररर is quizzical just like the many हुमण / riddles they use. Go find the answer because you can’t guess it sitting at home. Be in the theatre. Next show in Andheri. 

A special mention for my dearest Trupti Marathe for opening the show with such brilliance that only a good soul can get to theatre when requested to fill in instantly !

Must mention about the venue. Shakti thank you for creating a space in your grandparents memory Jayshree & Jayant  Salgaokar Experimental theatre that allows young talent to bring such stories and performance.

Tickets 🎟️ 

https://in.bookmyshow.com/plays/bhirrrr/ET00505295