मासे निवडताना… कालनिर्णय स्वादिष्ट जून २०२५

Thrilled! It’s a dream come true. As a young girl I grew up reading Kalnirnay back to back. My Aai used to tell me to check Chandroday or Ekadashi on Kalnirnay. Diwali faral experiments or weekend specials were made from the recipes on the back. In the newspapers one couldn’t miss Jyotirbhaskar Jayant Salgaonkar’s columns. He was highly respected among Maharashtriya people. He was very outspoken about his political views and alignments. Who would have thought I would write for his publication in my 50s? 

I was so excited when I received the request letter from his son Jayraj sir to write this article.

This article is special as I wrote it in the year when I resumed eating seafood after 35 yrs. It captures the concise generational as well as modern knowledge I gained as a Koli on how to choose and buy fish. You would not want to miss adding it to your collection. Go buy Kalnirnay Swadisth soonest, rush ! 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

Thank you for thinking of me Dr. Mohsina Mukadam @mamukadam and @shaaqt Shakti Salgaokar - Yezdani  ❤️❤️

A big cheer for Shakti for creating and nurturing Swadisth edition through the years !!!

Ageing Is Not About The Wrinkles

Two pictures 16 years apart. I have aged pretty well. Fine lines on the face showing up at 54 yrs. Is aging about the wrinkles? Is it about wisdom? Realisation ? What is it? 

Few months ago Prashant my cousin said something that I really understood well. He said when we are very ill or terminally ill, we are not even aware about our self. Why then should we bother what will happen to us? We should not worry unnecessarily but rather enjoy the life in the present.

So true ! 

I have watched many in that state. Most recent was my cousin S. She had fought with every one including me. Yet when she was in the last stage of her illness and life. She wasn’t in the state to understand what was going on with her. She was taken care of by her sisters. My family made arrangements for her treatment. Sapna got her the best financial support, doctors and treatment. This for a woman who knew no kindness ! 

Probably there was some good deed in her life or past life serving her well. 

I go back to Shree Gondavalekar Maharaj’s guidelines. Chant Naam while you are in good health and consciousness. He assures to take care of the soul and body in unconsciousness. That is his promise. 

At 54 yrs I can see through all the futility of relationships and life. I laugh at how societal norms drive our life. The foolishness that we believe that another person can give us happiness. No one, not your spouse, not your siblings, not the children no one. Yet we go through the cycles of attachment and delusions. 

I may sound like I talk more about delusions in the last one year or more. I have been through so much of life. That I don’t get enticed by anything. 

If at all I need anything now is my own security. Physical and material. I am fortunate to have that and can last me my lifetime. 

Rest nothing worries me. Taking everything head on as I prep for a plan. More on it later…

The Smell Of Wealth

People may dislike you but they love your money !

Money is a magnet that attracts evil 👿 easily.

Just Sunday Things

Today I was lucky to get Kalva che gole or Rock 🦪 oysters at Divale Koliwada fish market. 

Also picked some Sontakka and placed it across the home. 

Our Bubble isn’t eating non veg yet. Though last time I fed him pomfret mixed in his bhaaji. Everyone in his nuclear family is vegetarian. However we extended family are trying to introduce to him non veg as his parents agree with better nutrition approach for him. So today took him to the fish market. He was happy with an outing but as the smell hit him he held his nose. I told him he is a Koli and so he should not be averse to it. Slowly as we explored the market he got used to it. There were a few other people who had brought along kids his age to the market and they even touched the fish though our guy did not. Few times he told me he wanted to go home. He was unhappy that live crabs were chopped into two and he kept asking me if I will eat those? I explained to him everything has to die before we eat it even plants as we cook everything. He said yes and agreed. Very pensive. I know that this discussion will be brought up again till his curiosity is satisfied. I am going to give him honest answers. 

Just Sunday 🌞 things. 

Tomorrow his vacation gets over and school resumes. I will get back to my other home and we will miss each other.

The Great Divide

We build walls to divide but what do we do with those tenacious threads that bind? !

I was watching Punjabi Lehar an initiative by Nasir Dhillon that unites families separated by the traumatic partition of India - Pakistan. 

I cried watching family members hug each other after 75 yrs of separation. 

This partition was done by the evil British who colonised India. This touched a raw nerve. Of the partition in families where the partition is caused by greed ! 

Mahabharat is the oldest epic in the world and it keeps repeating even now though without bloodshed. 

One person’s greed destroys the weave of the family. When one person wants to hoard everything that the family has. It is the small mentality of the person that causes the split. Especially when this person has been the recipient of the biggest kindness of the family.

There is no gratitude for what he and his family received. There is no value of the people who made sacrifices. Some spent their years of youth caring for others. However all that is forgotten.

There are misunderstandings in all families. Sometimes keeping a little distance yet holding gratitude in the heart is the only way. 

Some people’s greed knows no limits. They are always demanding a share of what is not rightfully theirs. They cannot even mask their greed and are absolutely point blank about what they demand. Such a filthy attitude! 

Nature has its ways of maintaining a balance! I shall leave it at that.

There are some others who caused the divide. They have a special place in hell ! You know who you are !!!

Others can still try to patch up. Our division wasn’t as traumatic as the partition infact there was NO reason. Just the stupidity of couple of people. How difficult is it to say sorry? 

Else this will go with our bodies burning in the funeral pyre 🔥

My First Crush

He passed away. 

The last I saw him was when I was still in school may be. He had finished his study of medicine at Grant medical college. His journey was amazing, from primary schooling in Thal and later in a municipal school in Colaba. He grew up to become a Physician and had a long practice of 40 years in Backbay transit camp. 

My Dwarkanath mama’s son Parshuram and he were buddies and classmates in Thal until they grew up. Sadly Parshuram left this world very young in his 20s.

Doctor would visit my home along with his kaka or my MJ kaka. That is the last image of him I remember. A tall dark and handsome man. Since we were family friends from the same village we would see each other often for holidays. 

I recollect me sitting in the woven old relaxing chairs in  our family home in Thal in the upper floor hall and stealing glances at him from behind a book. He in his white cotton sadra lehenga a la Hrishikesh Mukherjee film hero. I wrote him letters years later when he was interning at Alibag. I wonder if he ever received those letters in Thal that I posted from Mumbai. I never received any replies.

I was in my graduate year and my exams coming up when I got to know that his family was looking for a bride. I sent Baba and PJ kaka with a proposal. I had not finished college yet and wasn’t a doctor so the proposal fell through. 

I was very depressed and remember not eating that night. I flunked that year. Later however we never got to see each other as he got married to a doctor and his practice kept him busy. 

While he was my inspiration to study well and to become something in life turned into my biggest goal.

सतगती लाभो तुला किसन 🙏🏽 आणि खूप खूप प्रेम ♥️🌹

The fragrance of Kanika

Kanika has a fragrance that entices. When I visited Odisha in Jan 2024 and tasted this rice as part of the bhog at the Lingaraj temple sitting on the stone floor of the temple it was a moment that connected me to my Sanatani roots like never before. In Maharashtra there are few old stone temples and certainly none serves food on the premises! 

Hot food was served on disposable plates. Sai Priya of  mycookingcanvas my dear friend and Chef was making sure I was getting to taste the best of Utkal. Later I also enjoyed it at the Jagannath temple.

A morsel of it on the tongue and the spices and sweetness did a dance on my palate. 

Sai Priya has been doing Odisha temple food pop ups across the country and I have been tempted to go attend but alas! 

After a couple of days of drooling on her posts on Instagram finally I got into the kitchen to make Kanika. I would have loved pachedi too but I had other saved food in the fridge. 

Here’s how I made it after going through a few recipes online. 

Ingredients 

1 measure small grain rice like ambe mohor or Gobindo bhog

1/4 measure of jaggery

2 green elaichi

1 black cardamom or badi elaichi

1 tej patta

4 cloves 

1/4 teaspoon dalchini powder

10 peppercorns or miri

1 tablespoon Ghee

1 pinch saindhav / rock salt 

Handful of cashews 

Handful of golden raisins

Terracotta pot is a must for temple food cooked in Odisha style.

Begin with rinsing the raw rice. Then soaking it for 20 mins. 

Heat the Terracotta pot. Add ghee and let it melt. Once heated. Fry the cashews to golden and keep aside. Then fry the spices till aromatic. 

Now the rice that is soaked for 20 mins is drained on a sieve. Add this drained rice to the hot aromatic ghee with spices. Sauté for 2 mins. Add a pinch of Saindhav or rock salt. Top up with 3 measures water. Cook the rice till grains are fluffy about 15 mins. At the end add jaggery. Give the rice a nice mix and cover and cook another 5 mins. Remove cover fluff rice. If it looks slightly sticky no worries. As it cools the grains will separate and become fluffy as the jaggery and ghee coat the rice and stop further cooking. Now the final garnish is done with fried cashews and golden raisins. 

Serve and enjoy the flavours of temple food in the comfort of your home. 

ग्रह

Our birth is calculated and planned by the Universe. When we are born a certain alignment of stars influences what life we will live on this earth 🌏 

The more difficulties we have we will understand how we are but only puppets on the world stage. My father always said this. I took it as an information passed on from generations. As recorded in the scriptures and literature. However unless it is our experience we don’t really understand the meaning. That is why we have to live life. 

I have begun to realise that our will is least important. It can be a dream, desire but not reality unless the universe wills it. 

There are good people and bad people. The good people will not wrong another. The evil will always be the reason for others pain and difficulties. Both are creations of the Universe. Equal in her eyes. So what is the reason we feel bad about our wishes, dreams and desires when they are not fulfilled? It is the ego! 

It is the ग्रह We don’t have a choice. We are born. We will live and when it is time we will leave. 

However certain evil people can be identified. Their history indicates it. Right from birth they only spell ill luck for the parents, family and extended family. It is truly a battle of good against evil. Waiting for the right ग्रह to align. Hoping for the best for myself. Only prayers work. I pray that the universe knows best so learning not to ask for my wish to be fulfilled but let it happen as it is designed. 

Meanwhile as I sit in the balcony with Omid on my lap demanding rubs I am filled with gratitude for what I have received so far. The good and the bad. That has shaped me. Hope this helps in the evolution of my soul. Finally that is my goal 🙏🏽

I Believe In Miracles!

Shree Maharaj I believe you are going to show me a MIRACLE! 

What is in the future? What I do not understand? What is unknown? 

Is all in your plan and you know!

Teach me patience. Give me strength.

Shree Ram Shree Maharaj 🙏🏽 🌼🌸

The Grind

For a while I had stopped reading the RamCharitManas. Resumed it now. 

Even Bhagwan Ram could not escape the grind in life. His life was never smooth. He survived 14 yrs of Vanvaas and the abduction of his wife Seeta. Fought Ravan and killed him and established victory. 

When he became the crowned King, the dhobi questioned the purity of Seeta. Seeta mai went into the womb of Mother Earth. Ram seemingly had started a happy successful phase but had to suffer the loss of Seeta. Unlike Shankar bhagwan he did not do the Tandav. But simply bore the pain in his heart and continued to rule the kingdom. 

If this is the story of these extraordinary beings then how can we humans escape the grind?!

I Am A Giver.

I am a giver. Because I am grateful for what I received.

In my life especially with cousins. I am the eldest one in my generation so I have always been thoughtful and loving with everyone. Whether it was my younger cousins or uncles. 

However being a giver makes people take you for granted. 

It is better to hold back a little. 

Ganpati Special : Chicken curry with eggs from the Koli Kitchen, September 8, 2016

'Gauri Ganpati che sanala, go Baihini, baygin sange chal maherala'

Come Ganpati- Gauri festival and this iconic song is played everywhere in the Koliwadas. Most Koli women married within the community and many times in the same village in the olden days, unlike me who married a Parsi. It was the festivals that gave reason for women to visit their parental homes but rarely unless the protocol was followed. It was the brother or his wife who would come to invite the married woman for Ganpati and Gauri celebrations.

Ganpati festival preparation began days before, setting up the decorations in the auspicious space of the home. The Mangal murti brought in to the home under cover so that no one sees the face until the Sthapana (Consecration). The Chaturthi pooja is attended by everyone in the family after having a bath. A fast is kept until the Ganaraj takes his seat for the next 1.5, 5, 7 or 10 days as pledged by the family. Yes the Vighnaharta is brought home after he has successfully removed an obstacle for the family and someone pledged that they will then on worship him during Ganpati festival. The modaks are mandatory naivedya on all days during the festival. The traditional ukadiche modak and Talele modak are loved much by the Ganaraya. A different sweet is made every day along with other of his favorite foods. 

What is lesser know is that during Ganpati festival falls an all women pooja called Hrushi Panchami or Rajaswala dosh pooja. Totally irrelevant in the present day but I grew up among women who celebrated it. For us as kids it was a time of just the women bonding and fun things like bathing in the sea and playing pranks. The women returned to our home for more pooja and feasting. Our ancestral home was a venue for a large group of women for Hrushi Panchami. On the way back they almost closed their eyes and told kids to watch out for a dog so that they do not spot it. Some naughty kids would purposely get a dog in their path. If the women did lay their eyes on the dog, they had to go back to the sea for cleansing and to repeat the ritual. The food was a simple stew of mixed green leafy vegetables and rice. They ate grains and greens cultivated by man only, these pure foods are called 'Painu' in Koli. They do not accept food if a bull or buffalo was used during cultivation.

Many homes the Sumukh is sent off along with Gauri visarjan. The Gauri aagaman/ arrival, pooja and visarjan is yet again, an all women celebration among the Koli. Right from the decorations, consecration, pooja and visarjan all are done by women. This is the time when a newly wed like me would be pampered. Gauri is offered the symbols of fertility a cane winnower filled with fruits and vegetables, bettle leaves and nut, haldi kumkum, green bangles etc. This worship is called Vavnsa. The Vavnsa pooja is done only during Purva nakshatra when it coincides with Ganpati festival. Hence it is not every year that Vavnsa can be performed. This alignment of the celestial bodies occurs only once in 3 years. So all new brides are lucky to have their Vavnsa done this year in the first year of marriage. After the pooja the winnowers fully loaded with goodies are then gifted to the married women in the marital home. Depending on the status of the family the winnowers are loaded with goodies and the nos. start from minimum of 5 women who receive the gift to as many as 101! It is always an odd no. for auspiciousness. Well I don't have my Mom with me to do this for me so I will be doing a single offering at home all by myself. There will be no dancing in circles with the group of women on the seashore to the beat of the dhol and no tearful good byes to the Ganaraj and Gauri.  

What I am going to miss most is the meal after the Ganpati - Gauri visarjan. This meal is special as women are invited to their maternal home for it. After all the sweets and satvik food during Lambodar's stay in our home it is time for indulgence in a non - veg meal, always and always mutton or chicken curry with rice and rice roti.

Won't you love to cook it too?

Ingredients

For the masala

1 red Byadgi chili rehydrated

1/2 cup shredded dry coconut

1/4 teaspoon turmeric

1/2 teaspoon Koli masala 

15-20 pepper corns

8 cloves

2 Black cardamoms/ Badi elaichi

5 green cardamoms

1 teaspoon fennel seeds

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1 teapoon of ginger + garlic

1-2 green chilies

1 bay leaf

2 inch piece of cinnamon

1 handful of cilantro (not in picture)

Lightly toast the spices and shredded coconut till the kitchen smells of the essential oils emanating from them. Then transfer to the chutney grinder and grind to a fine paste along with cilantro. Add little water for easy grinding. Keep aside.

1 tablespoon oil

750 kg mutton or chicken

2 potatoes made into 4 pieces

As many eggs as servings

In a handi or a saucepan heat oil. Let in the chicken or mutton pieces and large chunky potatoes into the handi. Stir to coat with oil. Now pour about a glass of water. Cover and cook till potatoes look like they are about to crumble. Yes keep the skins on the potatoes you will know why when you taste it.

Once the potatoes are done add the ground masala paste. Mix with the chicken or mutton and top up with another glass of water. Add the eggs one per person. Cover and cook. The curry turns this blackish green color due to the cilantro in it. The oil starts floating on the top a bit and you see a ring on the edges of the curry in the handi as it simmers. 

Remove it from the heat and serve with rice and rice roti. I love it with a generous squeeze of lime. I tell you Chicken/ Mutton curry is superlative when the juices permeate into the chunky potatoes. Happy Burping!

Shree Maharaj’s Promise

There are times when I think a lot. There is little that I can do to change the matter. 

I tell everything to Shree Maharaj. That I am worried. That I want to do good. Each time. Every time. I get an answer from within. An assurance that I am well taken care of. After that I experience calm. 

It is a practice. Once in awhile I need that assurance from Shree Maharaj. It is my short coming that my trust in his assurance is filled with doubt. I pray that doubt be vanished. 

श्री राम  श्री महाराज 🙏🏽🌼

I AM THE INSTRUMENT

तस्मात्त्वमुत्तिष्ठ यशो लभस्व

जित्वा शत्रून्भुङ् क्ष्व राज्यं समृद्धम् |

मयैवैते निहता: पूर्वमेव

निमित्तमात्रं भव सव्यसाचिन् || 33||

I sometimes wonder what is the purpose of my life ? Especially after my father I felt my purpose in life was complete. 

I came into Cooper family to be an instrument. The Universe has destroyed my family’s opponents. One down one left. One like Dron gone down too. How many more to fight? Kauravas were 100. Here I see only one. I am going to be just a witness to how life rolls out.

 

Whenever I am in doubt a message like this flashes at me. 

Trying to be a Sthithapradnya because Krishna himself has promised in the above Shlok which means…

Therefore rise up and gain fame
Conquer your enemies and enjoy a prosperous kingdom
I have already killed these
Be only an occasion, Savyasachin || 33||

STOP चूडा फोड Breaking Bangles

Today I attended one of my favourite Kaka’s funeral. The goodbyes were hard enough.

Even harder were the चूडा फोड Breaking Bangles. It is not a ritual by scriptures but a tradition or practice. A very cruel one!

My kaki’s cries when her bangles were broken absolutely traumatised me. I cannot even imagine what it did to her 😭 She was resisting it. She yelped helplessly as she was stripped off her Saubhagya lakshan or adornments of marriage, her Mangal sutra, her Kunku. Does it have to be done this way? 

I URGE OUR KOLI PEOPLE TO STOP THIS CRUEL PRACTICE. ABOLISH IT !

Let the woman decide whether she wants to keep the adornments or stop wearing. Let it be her wish. Let it be a natural process instead of this Trauma that is inflicted!

When I was leaving Kaki was crying and telling me “see what they have done to me”. See how I look now? For a woman this is like breaking her dignity !

Thank God I did not have to go through this on Arvi’s passing on as Parsis don’t have such a ritual in their religion or community practice. 

**********************************************

आज मी माझ्या आवडत्या काकांच्या अंत्यसंस्काराला गेली होती. निरोप देणच कठीण होते.

काकीचा चूडा फोडणे म्हणजे बांगड्या उतरवणे पाहणे त्याहूनही कठीण होते. हा धर्मग्रंथात कुठे ही निर्देशित केलेला विधी नसून परंपरा / प्रथा आहे. अतिशय क्रूर प्रथा आहे ती!

बांगड्या फोडताना माझ्या काकीचा आक्रोश ह्रदय द्रावक होता. माझ्यावर खूप आघात झाला. मी कल्पनाही करू शकत नाही की ती काय भोगत असेल 😭 ती प्रतिकार करत होती. तिची सौभाग्य लक्षणे, मंगळसूत्र, कुंकू काढून घेतल्याने ती असहायपणे आक्रोशत होती. असे करण्याची गरज आहे का?

मी आमच्या कोळी लोकांना ही क्रूर प्रथा थांबवण्याची विनंती करते. ही प्रथा नष्ट करा!

स्त्रीला ठरवू द्या की तिला अलंकार ठेवायचे आहेत की घालणे बंद करायचे आहे. तिच्या इच्छे प्रमणे जगू द्या तिला. या पीडादायक प्रथेऐवजी ती एक नैसर्गिक प्रक्रिया असू द्या!

मी निघताना काकी रडत होती आणि मला सांगत होती, “बघ त्यांनी माझं काय केलंय. बघ मी आता कशी दिसते?” स्त्रीसाठी हे तिची प्रतिष्ठा भंग करण्यासारखेच आहे!

देवाचे आभार मानते की आर्वींच्या निधनानंतर मला यातून जावे लागले नाही कारण पारशी धर्मात किंवा समाजात ही प्रथा नाही.

BitwanIndia YouTube

A weekend reco for you…

I slept late enjoying a new YouTube channel BitwanIndia. The couple Bita and Bhagwan, a Persian (Iran) and Maharashtriya record their love story and life. I enjoyed watching them exploring each other’s cultures. I related with them as I am a Maharashtriya and my late husband Arvi was a Parsi who ofcourse identified himself as Bharatiya. 

What stood out starkly in Iran Zoroastrianism is an inclusive religion. Bhagwan could go right inside the fire temple upto the sanct sanctorium the central room where the fire is kept alive. 

The parents are open minded. The community does not make the life of intercultural / interracial / interreligious couples a nightmare by ostracising the couple. 

Here in Bharat, I am suffering a lot! I wasn’t allowed to enter the fire temple. I could not see the final rites of my husband. I am struggling with the Parsi law even today!

It is an oxymoron that Parsis are forward thinking! Their laws and community is archaic. They are far different from the current community in Iran. Parsis adopted Gujarati and the saree here. They look lost in the company of current Irani Zoroastrians.

This whole thing of maintaining purity of blood is a joke when 85% of Parsi blood is Gujarati as proved by scientific research on DNA and history.

You don’t need to look deep that all these laws and traditions are only to hoard the wealth and property of the Parsi community. 

I am fortunate to have Arvi’s loving two Fois / aunts and his Mami who stand strong with me right from when I met them before marriage. These family members are a treasure I lucked out on!

There are those rare few friends in the community who care for me. Check on me. 

There is one Zahhak that will be destroyed by my Fravarshis. I trust in practicing good thoughts, good words, and good deeds!

God bless @bitwanindia with prosperity, happiness and joy!

Prabhat Koli at EpicSwimMaui

A BIG ROAR 🦁 for Prabhat Koli and friends!

What a FANTABULOUS FEAT!

Congratulations to the entire team of swimmers, security, health and logistics! and all other departments. We are beyond proud of you all! Waiting to welcome Prabhat home and I know I am going to be glued to listening to the stories.

@1more808 Dayanidhi Das you gave us the most mesmerising views of this EPIC swim. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Epic Swim Maui.

"United by their passion for protecting and restoring the health of our ocean, these extraordinary athletes have officially completed the CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF MAUI for the first time in history." - @epicswimmaui

Just WOW! 20 days, 160 miles circumnavigating Maui to raise awareness for Ocean Health.

Follow Prabhat on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/koliboyprabhat 

Imaginary Character

When we love someone we imagine a character that the person might not be.

If the person in your imagination does it in actions. Then that character is real. 

Yet if actions are real but decisions for a relationship are not inclusive. 

THEN THERE IS NO FUTURE TOGETHER.

So the apologies will never come! 

Lakhmai Atya Baarki Bai

Note: I had written this on FB after Lakhmai atya passed away reposting it here for my cousin Prashant. She was the only child of Mothi Ajji Demai (your grandpa Dashrath & Nathuram’s elder sister) and Narayan Ajoba. Narayan Ajoba had passed away while Lakhmai atya was still in the womb. 

********

15 May 2019

Saying Goodbye and Farewell to my Eldest aunt, Vijaya (Lakhmai) Gangaram Bundke. She made my vacations in Thal interesting always. Memories flooding me of going to the Monday market under the banyan trees in Poynad selling fish in humongous quantities and eating at a Khanaval and returning with baskets full of goodies, especially the famed Poynad cha Narlipaak and khapti.

Going to her vaadi and climbing chikoo, mango trees and felling tamarind was something we never missed. We would sometimes carry a lunch in a topli and have a picnic there then lie under the trees and make bakuli gajras. Such an amazing world it was!

Her brothers, that's my Dad, Uncles and younger aunt called her Baarki bai which means small mother. 

She lived a good life as a Naval family. Quite a bindaas and badass woman who stood side by side to my Moti Aai and ran our fishing business. She loved her indulgences and she had quite a few. 

Moti aatya we will miss you.

Here she is wearing the मानाची साडी during my Halad that I gifted her since she couldn’t travel to Mumbai for my wedding reception.