I AM THE INSTRUMENT

तस्मात्त्वमुत्तिष्ठ यशो लभस्व

जित्वा शत्रून्भुङ् क्ष्व राज्यं समृद्धम् |

मयैवैते निहता: पूर्वमेव

निमित्तमात्रं भव सव्यसाचिन् || 33||

I sometimes wonder what is the purpose of my life ? Especially after my father I felt my purpose in life was complete. 

I came into Cooper family to be an instrument. The Universe has destroyed my family’s opponents. One down one left. One like Dron gone down too. How many more to fight? Kauravas were 100. Here I see only one. I am going to be just a witness to how life rolls out.

 

Whenever I am in doubt a message like this flashes at me. 

Trying to be a Sthithapradnya because Krishna himself has promised in the above Shlok which means…

Therefore rise up and gain fame
Conquer your enemies and enjoy a prosperous kingdom
I have already killed these
Be only an occasion, Savyasachin || 33||

STOP चूडा फोड Breaking Bangles

Today I attended one of my favourite Kaka’s funeral. The goodbyes were hard enough.

Even harder were the चूडा फोड Breaking Bangles. It is not a ritual by scriptures but a tradition or practice. A very cruel one!

My kaki’s cries when her bangles were broken absolutely traumatised me. I cannot even imagine what it did to her 😭 She was resisting it. She yelped helplessly as she was stripped off her Saubhagya lakshan or adornments of marriage, her Mangal sutra, her Kunku. Does it have to be done this way? 

I URGE OUR KOLI PEOPLE TO STOP THIS CRUEL PRACTICE. ABOLISH IT !

Let the woman decide whether she wants to keep the adornments or stop wearing. Let it be her wish. Let it be a natural process instead of this Trauma that is inflicted!

When I was leaving Kaki was crying and telling me “see what they have done to me”. See how I look now? For a woman this is like breaking her dignity !

Thank God I did not have to go through this on Arvi’s passing on as Parsis don’t have such a ritual in their religion or community practice. 

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आज मी माझ्या आवडत्या काकांच्या अंत्यसंस्काराला गेली होती. निरोप देणच कठीण होते.

काकीचा चूडा फोडणे म्हणजे बांगड्या उतरवणे पाहणे त्याहूनही कठीण होते. हा धर्मग्रंथात कुठे ही निर्देशित केलेला विधी नसून परंपरा / प्रथा आहे. अतिशय क्रूर प्रथा आहे ती!

बांगड्या फोडताना माझ्या काकीचा आक्रोश ह्रदय द्रावक होता. माझ्यावर खूप आघात झाला. मी कल्पनाही करू शकत नाही की ती काय भोगत असेल 😭 ती प्रतिकार करत होती. तिची सौभाग्य लक्षणे, मंगळसूत्र, कुंकू काढून घेतल्याने ती असहायपणे आक्रोशत होती. असे करण्याची गरज आहे का?

मी आमच्या कोळी लोकांना ही क्रूर प्रथा थांबवण्याची विनंती करते. ही प्रथा नष्ट करा!

स्त्रीला ठरवू द्या की तिला अलंकार ठेवायचे आहेत की घालणे बंद करायचे आहे. तिच्या इच्छे प्रमणे जगू द्या तिला. या पीडादायक प्रथेऐवजी ती एक नैसर्गिक प्रक्रिया असू द्या!

मी निघताना काकी रडत होती आणि मला सांगत होती, “बघ त्यांनी माझं काय केलंय. बघ मी आता कशी दिसते?” स्त्रीसाठी हे तिची प्रतिष्ठा भंग करण्यासारखेच आहे!

देवाचे आभार मानते की आर्वींच्या निधनानंतर मला यातून जावे लागले नाही कारण पारशी धर्मात किंवा समाजात ही प्रथा नाही.

BitwanIndia YouTube

A weekend reco for you…

I slept late enjoying a new YouTube channel BitwanIndia. The couple Bita and Bhagwan, a Persian (Iran) and Maharashtriya record their love story and life. I enjoyed watching them exploring each other’s cultures. I related with them as I am a Maharashtriya and my late husband Arvi was a Parsi who ofcourse identified himself as Bharatiya. 

What stood out starkly in Iran Zoroastrianism is an inclusive religion. Bhagwan could go right inside the fire temple upto the sanct sanctorium the central room where the fire is kept alive. 

The parents are open minded. The community does not make the life of intercultural / interracial / interreligious couples a nightmare by ostracising the couple. 

Here in Bharat, I am suffering a lot! I wasn’t allowed to enter the fire temple. I could not see the final rites of my husband. I am struggling with the Parsi law even today!

It is an oxymoron that Parsis are forward thinking! Their laws and community is archaic. They are far different from the current community in Iran. Parsis adopted Gujarati and the saree here. They look lost in the company of current Irani Zoroastrians.

This whole thing of maintaining purity of blood is a joke when 85% of Parsi blood is Gujarati as proved by scientific research on DNA and history.

You don’t need to look deep that all these laws and traditions are only to hoard the wealth and property of the Parsi community. 

I am fortunate to have Arvi’s loving two Fois / aunts and his Mami who stand strong with me right from when I met them before marriage. These family members are a treasure I lucked out on!

There are those rare few friends in the community who care for me. Check on me. 

There is one Zahhak that will be destroyed by my Fravarshis. I trust in practicing good thoughts, good words, and good deeds!

God bless @bitwanindia with prosperity, happiness and joy!

Prabhat Koli at EpicSwimMaui

A BIG ROAR 🦁 for Prabhat Koli and friends!

What a FANTABULOUS FEAT!

Congratulations to the entire team of swimmers, security, health and logistics! and all other departments. We are beyond proud of you all! Waiting to welcome Prabhat home and I know I am going to be glued to listening to the stories.

@1more808 Dayanidhi Das you gave us the most mesmerising views of this EPIC swim. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Epic Swim Maui.

"United by their passion for protecting and restoring the health of our ocean, these extraordinary athletes have officially completed the CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF MAUI for the first time in history." - @epicswimmaui

Just WOW! 20 days, 160 miles circumnavigating Maui to raise awareness for Ocean Health.

Follow Prabhat on Instagram 

https://www.instagram.com/koliboyprabhat 

Imaginary Character

When we love someone we imagine a character that the person might not be.

If the person in your imagination does it in actions. Then that character is real. 

Yet if actions are real but decisions for a relationship are not inclusive. 

THEN THERE IS NO FUTURE TOGETHER.

So the apologies will never come! 

Lakhmai Atya Baarki Bai

Note: I had written this on FB after Lakhmai atya passed away reposting it here for my cousin Prashant. She was the only child of Mothi Ajji Demai (your grandpa Dashrath & Nathuram’s elder sister) and Narayan Ajoba. Narayan Ajoba had passed away while Lakhmai atya was still in the womb. 

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15 May 2019

Saying Goodbye and Farewell to my Eldest aunt, Vijaya (Lakhmai) Gangaram Bundke. She made my vacations in Thal interesting always. Memories flooding me of going to the Monday market under the banyan trees in Poynad selling fish in humongous quantities and eating at a Khanaval and returning with baskets full of goodies, especially the famed Poynad cha Narlipaak and khapti.

Going to her vaadi and climbing chikoo, mango trees and felling tamarind was something we never missed. We would sometimes carry a lunch in a topli and have a picnic there then lie under the trees and make bakuli gajras. Such an amazing world it was!

Her brothers, that's my Dad, Uncles and younger aunt called her Baarki bai which means small mother. 

She lived a good life as a Naval family. Quite a bindaas and badass woman who stood side by side to my Moti Aai and ran our fishing business. She loved her indulgences and she had quite a few. 

Moti aatya we will miss you.

Here she is wearing the मानाची साडी during my Halad that I gifted her since she couldn’t travel to Mumbai for my wedding reception. 

A Leaf From The Past

Don’t grieve at the unkind words of the world. Is it possible to please the people? There are so many tongues, so many talks, so many opinions, so many remarks. This world is a strange mixture of the forces of sattva, rajas and tamas. Tamasic people are in abundance; and, it is their second nature to find fault and pronounce unnecessary criticism. They experience the world through their primitive emotions; their judgement is prejudiced; their natures are small; they are a prey to the sins of sense and perversions of will; they are more governed by ignorance and egoism than by intelligence and light. Therefore, follow the dictates of your own conscience and the promptings of your soul. If you are satisfied, the whole world must be satisfied.

Satiation or Burn Out? Seeking Blessings.

Since 2021, I have been conscious about my food intake. I try to eat millets 90% of the time and use good fat in the form of Toop / Ghee and Coconut oil. So my observation is I feel satiated quicker than when I am on a heavy carb and sugar meal. This is about food. 

Similarly about materialistic achievements. I did well in my corporate job whether it was my environmental stint or the IT stint. I achieved faster than average people my age. 

Later through my blog I had exposure to print media, TV and Online broadcasting. I even did an IT project for an online Food Network.

As far as business is concerned I did everything, owned and ran a successful Eshop for traditional Maharashtriya masalas and kitchen tools. Exported Diwali Faral. Did weekend special dabbas. 

I am a speaker about my Koli community, food culture and history. Have done several such sessions for young and curious minds. 

My ‘experience with me’ sessions saw me conducting Demo & Dines for Foreigners and connoisseurs. It gave me an opportunity to meet wonderful people and some became friends! 

Friends like Dr. Pradeep Rao who provided strong support and took my father under his treatment for the last 6 months of his life. He brought in a very good spine surgeon Dr. Uday Pawar. Accommodated my Dad at Global hospital in challenging COVID times. Two emergencies that were so harrowing. Who would have thought that this blog made that possible ! 

I keep posting on all the social media, FB, Instagram and YouTube TalkativeAnjali. So many online friends. Some who I have met in person and many yet to meet…

I have been writing almost every day for more than two decades now. 

I am deeply grateful for everything I received in life. The people I met along the way. Each one who made my life beautiful. Some who accepted my love and those that rejected it, taught me to live without reciprocal love. I survived to tell.

While I have done enough in the material world I feel a complete burn out in the Corporate world. There is a point of satisfaction in the Creative world but still not satiated completely. Creativity also leads to higher purpose.

I have no urge to earn more money. I have enough to take care of my needs and medical expenses. I have a little more for my travels. I am not greedy. I share what I have generously. 

Yet I am resolute and unswerving! I will see to the end all matters on hand. No one should ever be under the impression I will drop them in all consciousness. 

On 27 July 2024 I completed 54 yrs. 

I seek the blessings of all my deities for growth on the SPIRITUAL path.

Shree Ram 🙏🏽🌷

Shree Brahmachaitanya Gondavalekar Maharaj 🙏🏽🌹

Kalkai 🖤 my Koli family’s fierce force that protects me

Malhari Martand 💛

EkVeera Aai ❤️

Ahura Mazda 🌸 from my marital Zoroastrian family

Grace

Grace has so many meanings and I love all of them. It is a beautiful word. 

Showing Grace is being elegant. To be courteous at all times. To show mercy, kindness, love etc. 

It also means accepting the love given, considering it a gift. Accepting kindness. Not everyone is capable of showing grace. It can definitely be learnt. 

It is not a sign of weakness but infact a powerful trait to have. 

Nature has grace in the form of flowers that spread their fragrance and huge trees that canopy over and provide shelter to the tired soul. 

Do you show grace mindfully ? Do you show it to the unmerited? in the hope of bringing improvement in people? 

UNFATHOMABLE अथांग

That’s the view from my village Thal, Alibag!

Recently my cousin Prashant and I were nostalgic about our childhood vacations and our loving Koli people. Why are we so loving? We both wondered. 

Then he shared something really profound. His grandfather Dashrath whom we affectionately called Raja baba once told him the secret to a Koli’s loving heart. 

रोज समुद्र बघून बघून आपलं हृदयही अथांग झालंय ! 

VIEWING THE OCEAN EVERY DAY HAS MADE OUR HEART UNFATHOMABLE !

Prashant then went on further to say, every community is influenced by their surroundings. Like a Marwadi saves since he comes from the dessert. A Brahmin is dominating because historically they have been scholars.

I am blown away by this statement, the perspective and realisation that dawned on me.

लाड

कधी काळी कुणी तरी खूप लाड़ केले होते. 

आयुष्यात असे कधी झाले नव्हते. 

पुन्हा व्हावे असं वाटणं यात वावगं काय? 

नाही म्हणायला माझे मीच करते. 

पण बहरणं, त्याच्या शिवाय शक्य नाही ! 

🌹२०मे२०२४ चा सुखद क्षण त्याच्या आवाजातील उत्कटता !🌹

Deleted

Last night I wrote a blog post.

Then deleted it instead of publishing it.

Feel relieved.

Until There Is Obligation

Found these two wonderful, usable quotes. 

The first one by Shree Brahmachaitanya Gondavalekar Maharaj which states the fact about this world. Until there is obligations or indebtedness relationships survives. How plain and simple. There is a purpose of the relationship for movement in life and therefore it is present. Once that purpose is fulfilled there is nothing to hold together. 

Selfish people understand this well I think. As long as the relationship benefits them they stay in it. It is the stupid emotional people who stay entangled in relationships that have lost its purpose. This is not just about romantic relationships but all relationships. 

The second quote is a very workable solution. 

A Delicious Focaccia Sandwich

A bite into this sandwich and I feel proud of what I created on the go. A multi grain multi seed focaccia from Oven fresh. 

Ingredients & Procedure 

⭐️A Muhammara made with cashews. 

⭐️A mango and dried cherries salsa.

Cut up a ripe mango 🥭 and dried cherries. Chop onion 🧅 plus 1 green chili. Put everything in a bowl, sprinkle chopped cilantro and mix with salt. 

⭐️ stir fried white onions and yellow pepper. Chop onions length wise and yellow peppers too. Add oil to frying pan. Heat it up. Follow in with onions and yellow pepper. Salt to taste.

 

⭐️ Cut up a large round brinjal into slices. Salt and rest for 5 mins. Deep fry brinjal slices. 

Now bake your own focaccia or buy like I did. I used multi grain multi seed focaccia. Now cut focaccia into squares for sandwiches. Slit across so it can be filled. Toast the focaccia in the air fryer. 

Layered on the toasted focaccia. Start with Muhammara. Then add the salsa. Followed by the stir fried onions and yellow peppers. Finally fried brinjal slices.

Excuse me but food writers and makers must tell you how good it was else how will you know 😇

Now dig in. A very toothsome bite!

Bookmarking this to create for visitors.

Peanut Power Snack

I made Tender peanuts power snack for dinner last night. The first time I ate it was at Pegasus. After a rigorous military style workout this and tea super recharging. 

With that I have gone back to a memory. Should we go back to memories? Is it possible to forget these memories. Seemingly we don’t attach value to it we might. But this is a physiological thing not just psychological. What is DNA 🧬 if not memories? It gets passed generation to generation. How intrinsic that is to life! 

Also memories carry over births. A new born brain is blanked out but associations and experiences as the child grows into adulthood make the memories resurface. So wondering how easy is it to forget? How to delete that data? Especially selective data? 

A simple snack and a heavy rambling. 🤔🗯️

Ingredients 

500gms whole groundnuts 🥜 

Boil and shell them. 

1 red onion 🧅 chopped fine

2 green chilies chopped fine

1/2 cup grated fresh coconut

1 tablespoon ghee or coconut oil

1 teaspoon mustard seeds

A generous pinch of asafoetida

Salt to taste

1 small lime

A handful of Fine chopped cilantro 

Optional 

Chaat masala

Pomegranate arils

Heat ghee/ coconut oil. Tip in the mustard seeds, splutter. Add the hing, a pinch. Once fragrant topple cut green chili and the shelled tender peanuts. Salt to taste. Toss well. Add the chopped onions. squeeze 1 small lime over it. Garnish with fine chopped cilantro and fresh grated coconut. Toss again. 

Sprinkle chaat masala before serving. If you like a hint of sweetness top with a handful of pomegranate arils. Enjoy ! 

AUTHENTIC

As AUTHENTIC as you get!

Sunday Hello!

Hello Sunday! 

I am back from walking the dog. Hungry. The 12 hrs fast after dinner isn’t complete and I am breaking my own rule. 

Made a large milky tea with jaggery. My black jaggery is from Gondavale. Trying to weave Shree Ram and Shree Maharaj into everything in life. Who is there for me except him? 

Last 3 years since Omid my dog came home I go for an hours walk in the morning and evening. I chant the Gayatri mantra during the morning walk. Do Arghya to Surya dev when I spot him in the morning glory. This in my mind with a physical Namaskar 🙏🏽. 

My late morning is spent with my companion who helps me with housework until 2pm. 

After that it is maun vrat due to circumstances. I keep myself busy with hobbies like reading, browsing, writing, stitching and embroidery. 

In the evening I chant Ram naam as I received in Anugrah from Shree Brahmachaitanya Gondavalekar Maharaj “Shree Ram Jaya Ram Jaya Jaya Ram”. 

I have done several parayan of RamCharitManas as guided by my mentor. I have to resume it again. It definitely gives me peace and keeps away disturbing thoughts. 

My Solo trip to BLR-OOTY-CBE was so much fun. During the trip it was totally a fantasy. Meeting friends. Staying in a fabulous homestay. Doing the touristy stuff in Ooty. The Toy train ride of a lifetime dream come true. At Isha foundation being alone in the Ashram and doing everything to my own rhythm. Then returning to BLR and meeting school friends. Everything was perfect!

Quoting my favourite Tony Bourdain. Yet I disagree, no Tony it’s not OK. The loneliness took you away from us. It killed you! 

Then just a day before coming back to MUM I made the call. While it was Euphoric at first. It became so tumultuous later that it’s been more than a month of struggling to come out of the space that I went to. 

I am glad I am much better today. Even if deliberate I am trying to bring back my happy independent self. I am grateful for friends who saw me through this torment. K❤️ You had some workable suggestions for me. I am grateful for friends who decided to stay out of this. I understand. I am not angry with anyone because I know you wish well. D🌷sorry I have troubled you a lot till date. You stood by me the way you 🫵🏽 knew BEST. You too have the right to protect your sanity and not be dragged down by me. 

The two, S and Sh who gave a patient ear to all I said. ✊🏽

I am grateful to my cousin P who came as God sent and I could torture him into listening to everything. I realise how my lil bro has matured into a fine human as I met him after 2 decades. I owe you lots of love n support for the rest of my life. 🫶🏽🤞🏽

Today I promise you all I will bounce back. I shall make you proud. 🥹 

Loads of LOVE 💕 

SHREE RAM🌸

SHREE BRAHMACHAITANYA 

GONDAVALEKAR MAHARAJ 🌼

That’s Me!

Mentally, I was a hopeless romantic and lived in a fantasy world. Initially, I was terrified of intimacy. In daily life, I didn't like men because they are needy and dependent. TRUTH!