Saturday, December 22, 2012

Feminism and me

The grim Delhi rape case has shaken most women and a huge lot of men too except those that are animals. It is painful to hear about the girl's story. I have signed the petition

To: Supreme Court of India, Government of India

We want rape to considered a more heinous crime than terrorism and want very brutal punishments for rapists. By brutal punishments, we mean the type of punishments which will remind them, every single minute, that they have done something which is not AT ALL Acceptable in human society.

While my blood boils when women are treated shoddily and this is a heinous crime so you can imagine how shaken I am, just like most of you.

I love being a women, I loved it when I came of age. I always wanted to be a mother what if I have not yet had a child. I am a hopelessly positive person and hence I am strong willed and stand for what I believe in.

This post is the outcome of some things I have been observing over the years among the women I am surrounded by. I am putting it up here for you to think, to bounce your ideas at me and also am looking for assurance that I am doing the right thing.

 If you are a man not to support such farces and if you are a woman never play the farce.

Remember I grew up in a joint family of 5 daughters and several girl cousins. How I love all the women in my life. I taught my mother and aunts to stand up against male dominance if their word was disregarded in important matters of the family. As the eldest daughter of the family, I taught my younger sisters to stay through the thick and thin in the families they were married into, yet retain their identity. They are very traditional yet I am proud of them for the way they are living for the way they are bringing up their children. I take credit for what they are because I know I was their strongest influence. If they lack something I take that as my failure. That is on the family front.

Now on the work front, I have always tried to build those extra special relationships. Many reciprocated and lovingly. I had shared here about the baby shower we had for 3 of my friends from work, at the time we had 4 women in the team who were pregnant. I admire my then head of the team for supporting all of them through those happy days, yet days filled with struggles. They juggled jobs and health check ups, lows and highs.

I am a Mumbaikar and I admire all those women who travel by packed local trains thru all nine months and have a healthy delivery. It is only in the IT industry I have seen pregnancy the most abused phase by the women employees. From the day the conception is confirmed starts the abuse of the system. Some women game the system by declaring 3 consecutive miscarriages and enjoy month long leaves and return to work in the pink of health. Imagine what 3 miscarriages can do to a women. I shudder at the thought but see no signs such on that woman. Some who are lucky enough to have healthy pregnancies throw tantrums all thru the pregnancies. Unpredictable behavior upsetting workplans. What happens to their professionalism?

One wonders if in India having a baby is like having a baby for the country and the whole country rallies to support the bearer till it is born! I know of some European countries that provide subsidy with every child a woman bears. 

Some women who show inherent lack of honesty get benefit of doubt just because they are an expecting mother. Honesty cannot be cultivated one has to have it. The feminist in me becomes tough when I am faced with such a situation. This coming from someone who celebrates every woman's motherhood.

I may not have had a child yet but have mothered my 2 cousin brothers like my own. Yet I am the feminist of the Mother India kind, I do not support women who do not have honesty in them. Those that support are encouraging dishonesty. No one should try blackmail by throwing canned dialogues in the air.

I am a supporter of the belief that an organization or society that does not take the interests of women into consideration is likely to fail. Feminism to me is nurturing woman's interests, well being both health wise and behavior wise.

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